Wow, it’s been some time since I last posted… and not alot has changed except I’ve turned a whole year older, and I am now a few pounds out of target range… Did I say a few pounds? Slight underestimation of the word few…
I am currently sitting around 10lb above my intial target. If I am honest I have mixed feelings about this, I hit target nearly a year ago – and although I didn’t quite feel at target – I do feel that it is an achivement to have successfully hovered around it.. When I got to target, I was terrified that I was going to gain the whole 8 stone again, you read about it, I’ve seen – and to be honest I completely understand how easy it is to do. So I am happy to have maintained there or there abouts. However I am not so cool with having been unable to hit my second target, and to an extent lose control.
How do you get motivated? What do you do? We have ‘started again’ again and again… Thrown out the crap, had one last hurrah, written meal plans – meticulously counted syns for 7 days – had wonderful loses, celebrated with a treat night – which swiftly leads to a treat weekend and before you know it a treat week… Weigh day comes and the 6lbs I celebrated just 7 days go has come back and brought a couple more of his fatty friends along… this has been an ongoing cycle since Christmas, we haven’t truly got our heads back in the game. But now I fear it is getting out of control. (I say that as I wipe a little bit of chocolate from the corner of my mouth… another mini roll won’t hurt, right??)
Weightloss is about control right? I mean it is about having self control not to dive head first in to the whole chocolate aisle, or reaching for the phone to order take out. BUt it isn’t just weightloss, it’s the whole journey, for the rest of your life. It is easy to forget that once you have got to target – you have to stay there, you can’t then return to old habits and expect the same results.
I have set a new target, just over stone less than the first – which leaves me with 2 stone to lose. But I have to say I have become complacent, 2 stone? What’s 2 stone, when I have just spent a year losing 8? Arroganace, ugly arrogance.. There is no room for it in my ever shrinking clothes. It needs to be ditched and I need to take a fresh perspective. No longer am I the girl who lost a lot of weight. I am now – Lorna, the girl with 2 stone to lose. Simple as that. I am not just starting the week again, I am resetting my journey.
So, what do I plan to do?
1. Get back to blogging… Blogging for me is selfish really, I write to vent – I share it with the online world to give it a visual purpose. But otherwise I use it to put my rambling thoughts on ‘paper’ and realign myself. It’s not easy having a brain like mine that races with 100 thoughts per minute. This probably makes for difficult reading too… can you imagine having to live with me?! Alas, I digress… again!
2. Insta, insta, insta… Chantal introduced me to the world of instagramming food. Before it was just for shameless selfies and stalking out celebrities. But now, 2000 followers later, it’s about perfect presentation, 1000 hashtags of every slimmingworld variant you can think of and sharing… unless of course it’s high in syns in which case, no one needs to know that I have eaten that! From tomorrow everything that I eat is going to have a photoshoot, a filter and a hashtag.. Regardless of if you use insta or not, the network is great for inspiration or support – it’s amazing how fellow slimmers across the breadth of the UK unite, and pick you up when you are tumbling in to the second bag of crisps. I need to use that support now.
3. No coffee… A year ago (noticing a theme here?) Coffee wasn’t something I could quite comprehend – the smell reminded me of an old geography teacher who used to rub his balls on the corner of our desks, and the thought of consuming it nauseated me. I didn’t understand why anyone would want to drink it – and then, I was introduced to flavoured coffee… and then I was introduced to Costa coffee, and now I will pretty much consume any coffee that is put in front of me. But, I don’t have coffee with just 1 or 2 sweetners I like my coffee sweet – 10-15 sweetners sweet! I don’t even count them anymore, I just pump them in to my cup and enjoy… Upon reflection this isn’t healthy, so I’m ditching the caffiene and the excess sweetner and replacing it with water. The thought of that alone, gives me the shakes! Wish me luck…
And that’s it, those 3 things are going to keep me motivated and see me through to my 2nd target. That and of course staying on plan, on plan, on plan…
My best friend is getting married in 54 days – in Marbella. Chantal and I have just booked our flights – NO CARBS BEFORE MARBS! I am not a bikini wearing kinda girl, and the fact that my stomach looks like a road map of stretch marks, I’m even more inclined to hide it – however I want to be able to feel comfortable. I’m not going to put a number on it, but for the next 6 weeks I do want consistent loses.
So, if you are joining me for the ride, and reading along to hear my ups and downs – preferably more downs! Thanks! I hope I don’t bore you and can provide some light hearted relief for your day.. However do give me a nudge if you don’t hear from me for a while, as it probably means I have fallen in to a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and like Alice am lost in a wonderland of SYNS!
Now there is only 30 minutes left before it begins.. what can I find to eat?!