Coffee, emotions… and eating!

I left you all last night proclaiming my new and refreshed look on slimming, I am resetting my journey and starting again with a target of 2 stone to lose. I went to bed feeling positive and ready for my new week, breakfast and lunch was in the fridge, my clothes were ironed and I was ready to embrace Monday….

Oh, how 8 hours can totally change that! After little more than 2 hours sleep, I got out of bed wishing Monday would eat me whole and spit me out in time for the weekend.. I was grouchy, bad tempered and without a shadow of a doubt, a miserable cow. Chantal must have wondered where her girlfriend had disappeared to in such a short time, as I stomped around the house feeling sorry for myself. Alas, I got ready, reluctantly pulling on my previously, optimistically prepared clothes and stuffing lunch in to my bag – cursing under my breath at anything that didn’t quite go to plan.

In the car, surprisingly on time, my first destination was to the nearest Costa Express – handily located less that 30 seconds from our house. A large Americano with ample sweetener was required. You may remember yesterday I told you it was the end of my coffee drinking days and I wouldn’t be taking even another sip of the warm, steaming, sweet, nerve raising, eye opening, brain stimulating fluid… And I remembered this as quickly as I chose to forget it. I yanked a cup from the dispenser and shoved it under the tap, pushing buttons on the self service screen, tutting as it selected a hot chocolate instead of an Americano, swearing as the sweetener sachets spilt over my shoe in my rush to tear them open. The cashier watched me warily, rightly concerned that I could transform into The Hulk at any given moment. I paid, I left and finally, I was back in the drivers seat, cradling the warm corrugated cardboard as my nostrils flared to the steam rising out of the spout. I sipped, sighed, and sipped again. Like a big hug, it sucked out the morning’s stresses and straightened me out. It was then that I realised, giving up coffee altogether is probably not the best option for me, or my loved ones around me. So whilst I may not give it up all together – I will reduce from 6-10 cups a day to 1 definitely needed morning coffee – maybe extending to 2 on a weekend! What a treat!

After humbly apologising for my god awful, sleep deprived, caffeine aching alter ego – I set about continuing the day as I meant it to start. The coffee had helped and now Monday could hit me with whatever it liked. I was ready. And so far so good, I had alpens and yoghurt for breakfast with a pint of squash – the first of many, I am currently on glass number 5! And toilet trip 55! The morning has rushed by in a blur, and as the stress levels have risen I have found it increasingly challenging to keep up my gung-ho, cheery disposition. I always used to think I was really good at dealing with stressful situations, my past has been decorated in an array of stressful situations that have washed over me as they have happened – however as I have mentioned previously ( Totally Addicted To Weight Loss) the last year or so has seen me crumble under pressure – not ideal when your job centres around tight deadlines! I know I am and always have been an emotional eater, when things get a little tough, or my adrenaline rises it’s natural for me to reach for the fridge and find something to eat.. However not today! I refused to be beaten by temporary emotion… I grabbed another glass of juice, got my head down and pounded on until lunchtime. Applauding myself with an almighty pat on the back.

Lunch had been worth the wait – a breakfast salad, usually served warm. Not today however, which didn’t take away from how good it was. Layers of leaves, tomatoes, onions, a couple of salad potatoes, mushrooms, 2 boiled eggs and a couple of low fat Quorn sausages… It was welcomed and more than satisfying. However my brain is programmed to wanting something sweet after it has had something savoury, like a series of switches the “Sweet” alarm starts sounding in my head. On any given day I would head to the kitchen and grab a super sweet coffee, on any given day of late I would have headed to the vending machine and grabbed a chocolate bar.. Today? I had my 40th wee and grabbed another glass of juice… feel free to send applause my way, like a puppy my success relies on being patted on the head, and told what a good girl I am.

So, all round today has been emotion fuelled and a race of up and down feelings. But I do think it is important to remember that as quickly as a craving comes, it soon goes. And that is what I have to keep remembering, when something gets a little tough – it won’t hang around, I don’t need a Galaxy to save me from the impending doom I am feeling – and I am pretty certain that the velvety smoothness isn’t going to take the stresses away – okay, well maybe a little! Are you an emotional eater? Have you overcome emotional eating? If so, what tips and hints do you have? I am always open to new suggestions – and will gladly take on any advice or hints and tips people can provide!

Following my small emotional breakdown, Chantal has suggested meditation – I feel a little sceptical about this, and not all together sure if I can hold the seriousness together of “ummming” and sitting in positions my knees aren’t quite used to – equally I am not a fan of feeling highly wound and like I am going to snap at the next ounce of pressure! So meditating it is… Wish me luck, and be sure to check out tomorrows instalment to find out if I have found my Zen like state!

L x

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